Dating -- Love in small dozes !!!

The other day, I met up a friend over coffee. Right after we exchanged pleasantries, a grand declaration followed, "I have decided to just date, have fun and not get seriously involved with anyone!"

Was this a way of safeguarding his non-committal tendencies or was he genuinely shying away from a long-term relationship, I thought?  Although such a statement is certainly not a deal breaker, women often become guarded when they hear stuff like this. 

Perhaps for some men, it is important to let women know that they are not up for any kind of commitment.  This is of course on the basis of an assumption that the woman wants commitment from them.  Having said that, these guys deserve the benefit of doubt.  After all, it is better to be honest from the beginning rather than keep others wondering. 

While love happens on its own, dating and relationships only happen when one deliberately chooses them. Most singles love to date but they are oblivious to communicating their true desires to their chosen partners.  The result is seen in the form of mixed signals.

For some singles life is so busy that they prefer occasional dating over a commited relationship.  While time could be a constraint, it is mostly the unwillingness to be consistently involved with one person that keeps them away from a relationship. 


Some like to be with a significant other and some like to be with others who are not so significant.  With so many options around, the fear of being committed to one person keeps lingering in the minds of many.  For reasons best known to them, a lot of people may prefer casual dating over a serious relationship.  Although it is a personal choice, what's intriguing to observe is that eventually mostly everyone wants an ideal partner... the happily ever after.  Then what is it that comes in the way of getting it?  

Is it the fear of commitment? Is it not being certain of what we really want in a partner? Is it the past baggage that we tirelessly carry around? Or is it the fear of losing out on the imaginary dates over a real relationship?!  For all those who suffer from "the grass is greener" syndrome, there isn't much hope for a consistent relationship. 

The need for freedom also plays a role in deciding what one leans toward. Often commitment phobia persists in the mind even after one gets a strong urge to be with someone.  The tug of war between the heart and the mind continues... whether it serves a purpose or not, no one knows.   

Having said that, no one can undermine the joy that love offers.  If every date is not viewed as an audition for a life partner, then a nice friendship can evolve from it.  Honest communication and mature thinking are key and can help avoid misunderstandings between partners. Someone aptly quoted, "Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy, like believe it."

Whether it is one date or relationship of a lifetime, it should be valued and truly enjoyed.   Author Stacie Cunningham says, “Love is like a piece of art work, even the smallest bit can be so beautiful.”   Some like to enjoy consistent relationships while others are okay with occassional bouts of romance.  Love is amazing... even in small doses, it can do wonders for the heart.