Women's Day!!!

As Women's Day was celebrated all across the world yesterday, a few television channels held panel discussions on various topics ranging from whether or not women and men are given equal opportunity to should there be reservation for women in jobs/politics etc.?  College students and people from different walks of life shared their views on women and their rights.  

One of the issues that was highlighted in the discussion was that of chivalry.  Now one would think that on women's day chivalry shown by a man would be considered as a treat.  In this discussion however, that was not the case.  

Ironically, one woman on the panel was of the opinion that on one hand women want equal rights and on the other they expect men to show chivalrous behavior.  She further suggested that if women want equal rights they should expect no chivalry.  Some college students added to this by suggesting that now that women are equal they should pick up their own bags, buy their own meals while out with men and other insane versions of the same.  Is it so that to these people, chivalry and inequality are synonymous?  By their standards then, women who stand for equality and expect men to be chivalrous are being hypocrite.   

Now the question to these people is that does equality mean lack of chivalry?  As far as I have read, chivalry and equality are mutually exclusive. If a man opens the door for a lady, does that make her less equal to him?  If he picks her up for a date, does that mean he considers her to not be able to make it on her own?  Certainly not! These are gestures that communicate care and generosity.  They are also culturally inter-woven into the dating ritual, though now the roles earlier defined for both the sexes are inter-changing as well.

So to these women who have a different take of equality between the sexes, I ask this? If a guy takes you out on a date and he doesn't offer to pick you up or hold the door open, doesn't pay for the coffee, doesn't get you flowers, doesn't offer to drop you back and does not make the phone call, would you like to go out with him again?  I bet you wouldn't and if the answer is yes, then good for the guy because he would be thrilled to have to make no effort. However, you may not feel nice about him.  So the point is that in the context of dating, men and women do things for each other to show care, love and attention.  This does not make them unequal.  The dynamics that work between a guy and a girl while in love have to be placed in a different context altogether and need not always be woven into equality related discussions.   

There are many things that a woman does as well.  In most of the households, women are the ones who cook.  They also go out and work, but no one says, 'Wow, she is being so nurturing and generous.'  Yet when a man shows even a bit of courtesy, he wins accolades for it. Doing things for someone is an act of kindness.  

The issue of inequality comes into the picture when every human being does not have equal access to opportunities.  The idea of ensuring that people are treated equally stems from protecting them from disharmonious conditions and placing them where they have access to education, access to employment and access to other resources. These rights are not enjoyed by many people even today while we call ourselves progressive.  

In rural India, even today a woman walks miles to fetch water and yet it is the educated urban woman in her designer clothes and high heels who gets invited to speak on Television forums about equality and reservation.  And then uses this platform to proudly state that, "If we want equality, we should not expect chivalry." For real?!!