Mr. Not So Perfect and Miss Communication

What happens when a man and a woman meet for the first time on a date? Besides attraction, pumping in the heart, raging hormones and a slight nervous tension, there is communication, either verbal or non-verbal.  They may talk a lot or little, they may communicate effectively to some extent and then miss a beat.  They may like what they hear or get a tad uneasy. They may feel good being together or get weird vibes.  Anything can happen and by the end of the date each one knows whether or not they would like to see each other again.  They may bid adieu with great promises of calling and catching up soon, but realistically each one knows whether this would end up as a one date wonder or would it make it to date number two?  

Though it is easy to decide for ourselves what we want or do not want, it is rather challenging to figure out other people.  There are a lot of mind games men and women play with one another. Since honesty and clear communication are becoming rare items in the dating world, life for daters is getting all the more challenging.

Most of us are not mind readers nor are we body language experts so predicting someone’s behavior does not come easily. Probably this sort of quest requires expertise in behavioral psychology.  However, day in and day out, one requires some knowledge to comprehend human behavior.  Of course, we all have sixth sense, intuition and a mind which hopefully works, yet how much of it do we use? The lack of skill-set required to comprehend others poses as an issue.  When the date has vanished, all we are left with are a lot of questions about why people behave the way they do.  

Often times we are misled to believe that what may seem as a potential match could just be a fallacy.  There are all kinds of people out there with different quirks.  Even after we have enjoyed spending time with someone and they may have led us to trust that they will make great friends or partners; we may be in for a surprise.  Have you had people disappear on you after the best dates? You may have been dreaming about how amazing they are and whoosh, they are gone!!! 

Then there are those who just refuse to leave even when you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to date them.  They keep trying to date you on their terms and conditions.  So the question is how to crack the dating game? How to know whether the person will make a good partner?  Though time is the only tool to unfold the future, there have to be other ways to find out about people.  Keen observation, an understanding of body language, trusting our instincts, seeing their behavior day to day, are all ways to know whether they are genuinely interested or they are just a passing phase. 

Gauging someone else is not easy. Especially if they don’t walk the talk; when they say one thing and do another then you know that they are not to be trusted.  If they give out red flags in the form of being secretive, not answering your calls at certain times, making excuses for not being accessible, or acting strangely around you, then you should take these cues seriously. No matter how good looking or attractive someone is, if you sense fear, discomfort, etc. it is a cue to leave.  If someone avoids making eye contact, there is another cue that they may be telling lies or something may be amiss. So reading the signs is a way to put the missing pieces together.  Though dating is supposed to be fun and easy, mainly due to mind games and miscommunication, very often it turns into something else.  

Only if people said what they really meant, only if men and women communicated their intentions clearly, only if instead of vanishing or playing mind games people sat across face to face and clarified their misunderstandings, only if guys and girls cared for each others feelings more than their own gain, only if they let their ego’s aside and try to understand their partners, only if they took it easy. Only if…