House Hunting, Hopping and Hoping!

Recently on my flight to Mumbai I met Gia, a girl who had moved out of a small city to pursue her dream of becoming an actress.  As the plane took off, she began narrating her story as a single girl trying to find a place in the big city.  Though she had been staying in Mumbai for over a year, she did not have a place which she could call home.  She had changed six accommodations in twelve months and was going to move to the seventh upon reaching her destination. Hopping from one place to the other with her baggage seemed to have become a normal activity. Disgruntled with the living situation in Mumbai, she complained of how difficult life can get due to lack of proper accommodation. As soon as we landed she made a call to an estate agent hoping to see a few places in the day.  Her only agenda was to pick up her stuff from her previously rented accommodation and move into a new one. Sadly there was nothing concrete in line.  
 

The irony is that this is not just one girl’s story.  Many young singles fascinated by the grandeur of life in a big city decide to make it their home only to discover that finding decent accommodation is their biggest challenge.  
 

There are several reasons as to why housing for young singles poses great dilemma.  First and foremost is the high price of real estate. Housing is an expensive phenomenon.  The term "affordable housing" seems like an oxymoron in today's times, especially when a one BHK apartment, in Mumbai, costs almost a crore, that too overlooking a gutter. Rents, even in the suburbs, are sky high and for those that struggle to make ends meet, the lack of economical housing pinches hard.
 

The options for young singles in any new city they move to are very few.  In urban India, the concept of studio apartments is still rare.  Hence, for a young single person just beginning a career, having a small place of her/his own does not pose as an alternative.  The lack of decent affordable housing in safe and well developed areas leaves singles with no choice other than making a home in dingy congested places.   
The best option is to buy an apartment.  However, this is not easy unless one is bestowed with ancestral wealth or has luckily hit the jackpot. 
 

A popular pick among singles is to stay in someone else’s house/flat as a paying guest. This is not as appealing because it comes with several restrictions mostly put by the landlord.  After a thorough interrogation on your work and lifestyle, you may get to stay as a paying guest.  Count your blessings if you work nine to five in a bank or school.  If you happen to be one of those odd ones to work in Media, then you’d be better off investing in a minivan that is big enough to put a sleeping bag in, rather than deal with unnecessary disrespect. Most landlords are more petrified of people working in the media than they are of the mafia. As soon as they hear the word media they shut all doors of communication and their homes.  Don’t be surprised if the landlord pulls out a weird list of do’s and don’ts.  For reasons best known to them, some only let women stay in their homes while others fear renting to a single woman.  Even single men have a tough time renting a place.  So despite all things, there is also a gender bias floating around in the house hunting scenario. If you are lucky and someone lets you stay as a paying guest, the landlord will turn watch guard scrutinizing your every move.  Such minute scrutiny can be quite taxing and may inspire a quick exit.
 

Many singles then opt for renting an apartment. This involves high monthly rentals, lease agreements, renewing the lease every eleven months and paying high deposits to safeguard the interest of the landlord.  For the thick skinned too it gets harrowing having to deal with all sorts of people living in the society, untrained security guards and neighboring critics.  With so many eyes on you, they constantly watch what you wear, what time you return and with whom?  If the landlord happens to stay in the same building, life gets tougher. If one gets lucky and skips the criticism of the landlord, they are truly fortunate and rare to come across.
 

So what does a young single person do to live peacefully in a city? What can landlords do to ensure a pleasant stay for the tenant?  After all, this is business for the landlord and tenants are adding value to their finances.  While these questions linger in our minds and this tug of war continues, every day young singles, like Gia, move to cities to make a career, to explore new horizons and to make a new home.  They hunt for houses; they hop from one place to the next and hope that someday they will be able to find themselves a place they can call home.   

The Lady at the Signal

Today's post is inspired by an elderly lady whom I saw across the signal while waiting for the red light to turn green.  With her back hunched and a simple white bag on her fragile shoulder, she walked from side to side trying to hail a rickshaw in the rain.  None of them stopped for her so she tried to walk up to cars and check if someone would give her a ride.  Yet, no one seemed to offer her any help. Their skepticism peeked through their glass windows. 

Looking at this scenario I came to realize how senior citizens are treated in our cities.  There are no special facilities for them in terms of their transport or even just simple help from most fellow humans, not even the traffic police. Due to immense poverty, lack of job opportunities, socioeconomic discrepancy  and many other factors, things tend to get so challenging for a certain strata of people, that every day life becomes devoid of simple pleasures that as humans we ought to experience.

Are we becoming immune to a dysfunctional society?  Or do we just not care about others around us?  We fight for all sorts of issues, tweet all day to express our angst at the world, but in reality how many of us get out of our air-conditioned cars and take a peek at the world outside of us.  How many times do we invite someone into our world and attempt to smooth out their creases?  How often do we stop talking and start giving?

The opportunity to give comes very often but the question is whether we recognize it? Giving is not just an act of kindness but its a gesture which reinforces the receivers belief in the goodness of people and that of life. Whenever we give, we not only receive tenfold, we also activate gratitude and happiness.  

An act of generosity for the giver might not mean much but for the receiver it can be a miracle in manifestation.  So when its easy to create a miracle then why not?  When its easy to stop for a moment to help a stranger in need, then why not?  And when its easy to offer hope that goodness exists in our world, then why not?  So to the lady at the Signal, I hope that she received her miracle today and I thank her for giving me the opportunity to be inspired.  

Mr. Not So Perfect and Miss Communication

What happens when a man and a woman meet for the first time on a date? Besides attraction, pumping in the heart, raging hormones and a slight nervous tension, there is communication, either verbal or non-verbal.  They may talk a lot or little, they may communicate effectively to some extent and then miss a beat.  They may like what they hear or get a tad uneasy. They may feel good being together or get weird vibes.  Anything can happen and by the end of the date each one knows whether or not they would like to see each other again.  They may bid adieu with great promises of calling and catching up soon, but realistically each one knows whether this would end up as a one date wonder or would it make it to date number two?  

Though it is easy to decide for ourselves what we want or do not want, it is rather challenging to figure out other people.  There are a lot of mind games men and women play with one another. Since honesty and clear communication are becoming rare items in the dating world, life for daters is getting all the more challenging.

Most of us are not mind readers nor are we body language experts so predicting someone’s behavior does not come easily. Probably this sort of quest requires expertise in behavioral psychology.  However, day in and day out, one requires some knowledge to comprehend human behavior.  Of course, we all have sixth sense, intuition and a mind which hopefully works, yet how much of it do we use? The lack of skill-set required to comprehend others poses as an issue.  When the date has vanished, all we are left with are a lot of questions about why people behave the way they do.  

Often times we are misled to believe that what may seem as a potential match could just be a fallacy.  There are all kinds of people out there with different quirks.  Even after we have enjoyed spending time with someone and they may have led us to trust that they will make great friends or partners; we may be in for a surprise.  Have you had people disappear on you after the best dates? You may have been dreaming about how amazing they are and whoosh, they are gone!!! 

Then there are those who just refuse to leave even when you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to date them.  They keep trying to date you on their terms and conditions.  So the question is how to crack the dating game? How to know whether the person will make a good partner?  Though time is the only tool to unfold the future, there have to be other ways to find out about people.  Keen observation, an understanding of body language, trusting our instincts, seeing their behavior day to day, are all ways to know whether they are genuinely interested or they are just a passing phase. 

Gauging someone else is not easy. Especially if they don’t walk the talk; when they say one thing and do another then you know that they are not to be trusted.  If they give out red flags in the form of being secretive, not answering your calls at certain times, making excuses for not being accessible, or acting strangely around you, then you should take these cues seriously. No matter how good looking or attractive someone is, if you sense fear, discomfort, etc. it is a cue to leave.  If someone avoids making eye contact, there is another cue that they may be telling lies or something may be amiss. So reading the signs is a way to put the missing pieces together.  Though dating is supposed to be fun and easy, mainly due to mind games and miscommunication, very often it turns into something else.  

Only if people said what they really meant, only if men and women communicated their intentions clearly, only if instead of vanishing or playing mind games people sat across face to face and clarified their misunderstandings, only if guys and girls cared for each others feelings more than their own gain, only if they let their ego’s aside and try to understand their partners, only if they took it easy. Only if…

Women's Day!!!

As Women's Day was celebrated all across the world yesterday, a few television channels held panel discussions on various topics ranging from whether or not women and men are given equal opportunity to should there be reservation for women in jobs/politics etc.?  College students and people from different walks of life shared their views on women and their rights.  

One of the issues that was highlighted in the discussion was that of chivalry.  Now one would think that on women's day chivalry shown by a man would be considered as a treat.  In this discussion however, that was not the case.  

Ironically, one woman on the panel was of the opinion that on one hand women want equal rights and on the other they expect men to show chivalrous behavior.  She further suggested that if women want equal rights they should expect no chivalry.  Some college students added to this by suggesting that now that women are equal they should pick up their own bags, buy their own meals while out with men and other insane versions of the same.  Is it so that to these people, chivalry and inequality are synonymous?  By their standards then, women who stand for equality and expect men to be chivalrous are being hypocrite.   

Now the question to these people is that does equality mean lack of chivalry?  As far as I have read, chivalry and equality are mutually exclusive. If a man opens the door for a lady, does that make her less equal to him?  If he picks her up for a date, does that mean he considers her to not be able to make it on her own?  Certainly not! These are gestures that communicate care and generosity.  They are also culturally inter-woven into the dating ritual, though now the roles earlier defined for both the sexes are inter-changing as well.

So to these women who have a different take of equality between the sexes, I ask this? If a guy takes you out on a date and he doesn't offer to pick you up or hold the door open, doesn't pay for the coffee, doesn't get you flowers, doesn't offer to drop you back and does not make the phone call, would you like to go out with him again?  I bet you wouldn't and if the answer is yes, then good for the guy because he would be thrilled to have to make no effort. However, you may not feel nice about him.  So the point is that in the context of dating, men and women do things for each other to show care, love and attention.  This does not make them unequal.  The dynamics that work between a guy and a girl while in love have to be placed in a different context altogether and need not always be woven into equality related discussions.   

There are many things that a woman does as well.  In most of the households, women are the ones who cook.  They also go out and work, but no one says, 'Wow, she is being so nurturing and generous.'  Yet when a man shows even a bit of courtesy, he wins accolades for it. Doing things for someone is an act of kindness.  

The issue of inequality comes into the picture when every human being does not have equal access to opportunities.  The idea of ensuring that people are treated equally stems from protecting them from disharmonious conditions and placing them where they have access to education, access to employment and access to other resources. These rights are not enjoyed by many people even today while we call ourselves progressive.  

In rural India, even today a woman walks miles to fetch water and yet it is the educated urban woman in her designer clothes and high heels who gets invited to speak on Television forums about equality and reservation.  And then uses this platform to proudly state that, "If we want equality, we should not expect chivalry." For real?!!

The Real Time Issues in Real Estate

Recently while anchoring a Real Estate conference, I came across several builders and investors who discussed issues pertaining to affordable housing. The term "affordable housing" seems like an oxymoron in today's times, especially when a one BHK apartment, in Mumbai, costs almost a crore, that too overlooking a gutter. 

The demand for housing is an ongoing dilemma for many.  Amidst several questions being raised, one of the things that rang a bell was the challenges people face for something so basic as a home. A home is one of our basic necessities, however with the real estate prices fluctuating every day, it would be safe to say that in today's times being a home owner is an achievement.  

Cities are expanding and untapped land in lost suburbs is being developed to accommodate the needs of the consumer.  Of course, housing in the suburbs may be much cheaper but it comes with a high price of commuting long distances everyday. 

Developers are busy acquiring land and clearances, while consumers are caught up trying to figure out how they can secure a house within their budget.  Even if the consumer is willing to shell out crores of rupees for a small apartment, there is no guarantee that the view from top will be easy on the eyes nor is there any assurance that the noise levels will allow for a peaceful stay.  

Despite the noise, the lack of view and several other issues such as water, security, sewage, easy connectivity to local transportation; the real estate market boasts of such high prices.    

In India, the concept of studio apartments is still rare.  Hence, for a young single person who is just beginning a career, that does not pose as an option.  Once a person starts a family he/she usually wishes to graduate from a one bedroom apartment to a two or three bedroom apartment, but this may not be possible because the prices are so high that affordability remains a huge constraint. 

Consumers are at unrest because of few options and major price hikes. Though we are inundated with information and our resources may be plentiful, it is still difficult to acquire space in big cities. Urbanization has citizens excited but the initial high is short-lived.  Once a person moves into a big city, he/she is highly disappointed due to these on-going housing issues. 

The debate on how the market is shaping up raises many pertinent questions, but do we have the answers?  Maybe... Maybe not...